KNUT, THE CLOCKS AND ME

It’s October. In the UK, it’s the start of autumn, the season of ‘mists and mellow fruitfulness’. Unfortunately, it’s also the most depressing month of the year, because October is the month when the effects of the most absurd attempt at social engineering ever foisted on the world are most keenly felt.

I refer to Daylight Savings Time. Woolly-minded politicians all over the world decided in 1916 that it would be a great idea to mess around with our clocks. The concept was to add an extra hour of ‘useful daylight’ to our day in winter. Some genius decided that the way to do this was to change the clocks in summer, when daylight is plentiful. The idea that the basic astronomical facts of life can be changed by legislation is weird indeed. King Knut would have been amused and very irritated by such a preposterous proposal. This Great Dane, decided to disprove the overstated claims as to his divine power by going to the beach and proving that the tide would not obey his command, contrary to the claims of the local spin-doctors of the day.

One third of people in the UK suffer (to a greater or lesser degree) from a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, so named to produce the acronym ‘S.A.D.’ Acronyms are something I generally loathe, but I do have to admit that this one is particularly apt. S.A.D. plunges many of us into deep depression and is a recognized pathological condition. The NHS spends millions on treating its victims and the economy ships huge damage each year as the victims of this condition are unable to work normally. SAD is the result of insufficient daylight during winter months. The short daylight hours mess with our body-clocks and the lack of light affects serotonin levels in our brains.

There is nothing we can do, short of sitting under bright lights for a couple of hours a day, to lengthen daylight hours. So we just have to grin and bear it. If nature were left to her normal course, we could, at least, get used to the shortening winter day gradually and thereby become conditioned to it. Instead, we wake up one morning in October with the dread knowledge that it will, all of a sudden, be dark when we leave work. This plunges me (and my fellow sufferers) into a depression that can last for months.

This is one of the most devastating examples of ill thought-out knee-jerk legislation and the lasting damage such inane law-making can do. It’s also living proof that, as we pile on law after law onto our statute-book, we just never get round to repealing the redundant or truly inane laws that we’re already stuck with.

So here’s a piece of legislative tom-foolery that really should be repealed. Remember – it’s British Summer Time that is the adjustment to the clocks, not Greenwich Mean Time, which prevails during the winter. If we do away with British Summer Time, there is no re-organisation of our winter time-table required. All we do is: get rid of that awful shock to our body-clocks that is inflicted every October.

It would save huge amounts of money for the economy if we simply left the clocks alone in the spring (which is when the damage is actually done).

Of course, our political masters are far to busy legislating as fast as they can to get around to doing something so simple, so obvious, so beneficial and so easy.

PISSING OUR MONEY AWAY

Whenever it’s time for the country to cut costs, the politicians always want to convince us that they can make huge savings by ‘cutting waste and inefficiencies’ rather than own up to taking the knife to popular public services. These savings are promised at every general election, yet we never see the actual savings get made. This is mostly because all governments are absolutely useless at actually running things with any kind of efficiency.

This is hardly surprising as the people who run government have never actually run a business or had any experience that would qualify them to do anything, but climb greasy poles and say anything that might get them elected.

In our little town there is a move afoot to replace a twenty-year old swimming facility (one that is quite modern and pleasant to use) that is located right in the heart of town with one on a green-field site at the outskirts. Nobody I know wants this new pool, and many certainly don’t agree with the inconvenient location. The council is pressing ahead. Why? Because, if they don’t spend the several millions that central government has allocated for this by the end of the financial year, they’ll lose the money. Futhermore, the equivalent amount will be lost from next year’s allocation. Looking into this, I discover that this silliness applies to just about everything; every council, quango, educational facility and health provider in the country. If they want to preserve their budget for next year, they must spend the lot (whether the spending is needed or not) or lose out in the long term.

Our little swimming pool project is a few million pounds of stupid spending in one little town. Add to this all the other stupid spending that must also be going on locally for the same reason, and it must be tens of millions being pissed away on silly ideas.

If we then multiply that by every town in the country, billions and billions are being pissed away by the most inane system for handing out government cash that could possibly be devised.

If the politicians truly want to save some dosh, this could be stopped. All they have to do is break the link between this year’s spending and next year’s allocation. Let the locals spend what they need without fear of losing out in the future.

This, of course, is pure common sense that any business person would comprehend. Alas, it’d probably be far too radical and idea for the politicians to grasp.

FUNDAMENTALLY DANGEROUS

Believing in stuff is bloody dangerous. If history teaches us anything, it teaches us to steer well clear of people who operate from belief. Crusaders, suicide bombers, Nazis and born-again Oil-Barons (Republican American Presidents et al), any kind of ‘fundamentalist’, all have one thing in common; their willingness to kill and maim to glorify that in which they believe.

That is not to say that spirit, ethics and a sense of right and wrong have no place in the right thinking of an intelligent person. Of course they do. But belief requires the abandonment of that which makes us Homo-Sapiens: the intellect. All belief requires the acceptance of that which true intellect can’t stomach – the paradox. All belief systems, at some point, need you to chuck your intellect into the bin and accept the improbable, if not the impossible. And that’s a very dangerous thing to do.

Darwin had a bit of a problem when he hypothesised that we are the outcome of a chaotic and accidental process he called evolution, meaning that we could no longer claim to be made a few thousand years ago in God’s image. That pissed off a lot of believers and some dumb people still want to teach ‘Creation’. So God put the Dinosaur bones in the ground just to have a laugh? Galileo ran into a bit of bother when he announced that the Earth (and therefore Mankind) wasn’t the centre of the universe. While all major religions propound that humility is a virtue, it is the rejection of the believers’ anthropocentric (human-centred) vision of the Universe that is the true humility.

That we are physically made of stuff manufactured in the core of stars is not miraculous enough for a believer. For him, his own cosmic importance is what really matters, regardless of what his intellect might be telling him.

What distinguishes us from the rest of animal creation has been a fascinating subject for debate for millennia. Is it the possession of a soul? Anyone who has had the pleasure of sharing their life with an animal companion might have difficulty with that one. Some of the finest souls I’ve met were canines. How about using tools? We’ve found apes, birds and other creatures that use tools, no distinction there then.

What does the title ‘Homo Sapiens’ mean? It means ‘thinking man’. THINKING. Apart from our ability to destroy our environment on a truly awesome scale, what makes us what we are, is our ability to think; to use our intellect. A believer may well say that our intellect is ‘God-given’. Well, if God gave you an intellect, why, in heaven’s name, would it be the first thing to get chucked out of the pram when things get a bit difficult to fathom?

The sad fact is you can’t have an intelligent debate with anyone who operates from a basis of pure belief. For a believer, all difficult problems become a point of faith and there can be no rational discussion of a point of view when that is based on the abandonment of the rational. Don’t bother arguing with a fundamentalist – it’ll probably get you shot. There is no argument to be had – he’s right, he believes he’s right and there’s nothing you can do about it. Except, of course, shoot the stupid bastard before he shoots you.

MORE DESIDERATA

Literally 'More Things To Be Desired', this is my attempt to add a 21st century footnote to Max Erhman's masterpiece:

Desiderata Mages 2009
Being born in a human body is the greatest of all opportunities. Your time in that body will pass in the blink of an eye. Make the most of your life.

Adventures are to be welcomed and embraced. A life with no adventure is like a car that never leaves the driveway.

Be tolerant, especially of yourself. The rest of the world will find ways to beat you up. It needs no help from you. Being born is an opportunity to attain perfection, and that takes a lifetime of endeavour. Don’t expect perfection of yourself. If you were already perfect there would be little point in living.

Justice and fairness are concepts for children. The world is not a fair place. It is what it is, for good or ill. All you can do is deal with whatever is handed to you with a determined heart. None-the-less, be just and fair in your dealings with others, without expectation that others will do the same for you.

There are as many paths as there are people on the planet. As long as your path has a heart, it is a good path and it is yours and yours alone.

There will always be disasters. They are a fact of life. Living to avoid them is unrealistic, they’ll happen anyway.

Love is the most enduring experience. Love and beauty are the things we most value and live longest in our memory.

Have faith in your own abilities. The world is unpredictable and it can change for the worse or the better very quickly indeed. You can’t control the wave you’re on, but you can be good at riding it.

All attachments are temporary. Attachments to things slow you down and make you fearful. Attachments to people, especially those you love, are the most dangerous of all. All things and beings must pass.

Happiness matters more than all other things. Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of affairs. Helping others to be happy is the best way to ensure you own happiness.

Whatever your endeavour may be, get on with it. All things in life can be replaced, with the exception of time. Time is an arrow that goes only one way. Time is the most valuable commodity there is. Respect time, and make the most use of it. Even one second can never be regained.

Above all, love your self.